Poo and You – The Relationship You Didn’t Want and Cannot Leave

Poop.  When you’re a mother of three there is no getting away from it.  Whether you’re hearing jokes about it, cleaning it, smelling it, looking for it because it’s gone to places unknown, poop is everywhere.  I could write posts about poop all night.  In fact, I could probably dedicate an entire blog to how it has seemingly invaded my otherwise clean and smell free life, but because I like to think I’m a (somewhat) classy person, I’m just going to write this one post.

It was a beautiful summer day and time to nurse my month old baby girl. I made sure my 3 and 4 year old boys were occupied and sat down to what I thought would be an uninterrupted 15 minutes of feeding.  Amateur mistake.  About a minute and a half in my 3 year old tells me he has to poop.  I call to him from the bedroom to go into the bathroom and do his business on the potty, knowing he should be fine with that part on his own.  Two minutes later he proudly says that he is done and even wiped on his own – atta boy!  I hear him and his brother resume their playing and sit there thinking about how wonderful life is, and then I hear it.  A noise I know too well….the noise of a dog eating.  “Hmmm, that’s strange,” I thought to myself.  “The dog ate all his breakfast and there’s nothing around for him to — NOOOOO!!!”.  At this point I unlatch my sleepy eyed infant, turning her from an angel to a screaming monster in an instant, and literally jump off the bed and run to the bathroom.  It was too late.  My dog had eaten my son’s SHIT right out of the potty.  RIGHT OUT OF THE POTTY.

In case you need a recap, I now had a screaming newborn, a feces eating canine, and a poop smeared potty.  The boys by this point had heard the commotion and were pushing and shoving at the bathroom door trying to take a peek at what their mother was ranting and raving about.  I was trying to decide what to deal with first and came to the conclusion that the one causing me the most trouble was the dog because, well, he now was a poop eater and who wants that around?  So outside he went.  Next was the potty because no way was I going to allow that stuff to get anywhere else in the house, and then last but never least, was my poor baby girl.  She had no idea what was going on other than her milk source had up and left in the middle of a feed.

From that point on life continued as per our new norm, us having only just begun figuring out the new dynamic as a family of five instead of four.  Every day interesting, every day fun, and every day having more than it’s fair share of poop.